God's Promises 2/11/2020
David a man after God’s own heart, and a beloved king and ruler had his moments of doubts in his life. I am inspired by his story because I realize that even a man so dearly loved by God, faced the question of “where are you God. I need you.” Psalm 22: 1-2 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saying, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest.
There have been many times in my life where God seemed distant, where he seemed out of reach for me. Moments where my faith was weak, and his presence feeling more like a cold distant memory. My world was falling apart, my marriage was soon to be over, my soon to be ex, had stolen checks and I was left with a choice of pressing charges, or covering a debt that I could not possibly repay. Work was my only distraction from the turmoil but, served only a moment of relief.
Leaving work one day, I drove until I reached the red dirt road of home. With a long driveway outside of town, my house was private, secluded and safe. As I pulled my car to a stop, I noticed a small red bag sitting on the outskirts of my yard. Immediately I was startled. My beloved dogs came running and showed no alarm, yet I was taking no chances. Quickly, I exited the car, but told my young daughter to stay inside. I picked up the bright red small bag and opened it. Its’ contents -drug paraphernalia. Leaving her in her seatbelt, I walked towards my door. An awful smell emerged long before I reached the entrance of my home and finding the door ajar, I walked in. My senses heightened; I saw, smelled, and noticed everything at once. Women’s clothing- not mine-- was spread throughout, the kitchen was destroyed with burn marks coming from the microwave, the smell was like acid or something just as strong. Danger seemed to dwell in the air like a fog. Tears rolled down my face in defeat. My ex had violated my home, a home that was never his, a home where our innocent child slept. A home that was my escape, was now nothing more than something I had to escape from. I had been violated-again. I ran into the bathroom and saw my reflection, but it did not look like me. I saw something I did not want to see. I saw someone that I did not want to be. That day I wanted to die, I wanted to give up. The darkness that seemed to surround me was inescapable. “Trying” did not seem to fix my circumstance. Working hard did not seem to fix my circumstance, being a good mom, did not fix my circumstance- so what now. Where was God, when I needed him most?
It was a dark moment in my life. A moment that almost ended any future moments. A moment that almost took a mother from her daughter. A moment that would not be forgotten. When I could take no more hurt at seventeen, I ran. When I could take no more pain at twenty-three, I ran. I left my house, I left my church, I left a few people I loved, but I ran to find a safety and comfort. I ran to a place that was void of any memories, void of family, and void of friends- I ran to New York.
There are times when God may seem far away, but it is during this point that we must put value on who he is. His word, his promises, his faithfulness are attributes that even during the quiet times, if we rely on his promises, deliverance will come. In my darkest moments, I only asked God why he had forgotten about me, why my trials were so hard, but I did not live on my faith, but rather my circumstances alone. Instead of running to God, I ran from everything else. Instead of believing that God would bring me through, I ran to escape what I felt I could not handle. David likewise in his prayer explained his weakness.
Psalm 22:15 My strength is dried up like a potsherd; and my tongue cleaveth to my jaws; and thou hast bought me into the dust of the death.
Yet amongst all his weakness, and complaining, David’s prayer began to shift from complaints to God’s promises.
Psalm 22:22 I will declare thy name unto my brethren; in the midst of the congregation will I praise thee. Psalms 22:24 For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither had he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard.
David goes on to give the most memorable prayer-
Psalm 23 The lord is my shepherd; I shall not want…”
When your valleys are low, when your trials are heavy, when life seems too much to bear, remember this- God has promised to deliver you. He has promised peace that surpasses our own understanding, if only we remember his promises. --I am here today because God’s promises are true. My life is filled with blessings beyond measure and peace that I could have only hoped for and although I do still experience storms and tribulations, I am not consumed by them. Hold fast to his promises and although God will gladly listen to your worries, he rewards the faithful that remember his promises. God did not promise that there would be no trials, he promised to bring us through. God did not promise that we would always have daylight, he promised to give light in darkness, God did not promise an easy life, he promised that you would endure. These are his promises-hold fast and know God will deliver you.
Isaiah 40:31
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.