Disguised Blessings
Sometimes we find ourselves in prison. Trapped by emotions, decisions, what if outcomes, and even despair in which the very thought of changing our circumstance brings about tremendous anxiety causing an eruption of fear bound with chains. I have found myself in prison many times throughout my life. Sometimes in fact, it felt as though I were in solitary confinement, bearing my burdens alone and hidden away from society.
As a young girl, the eldest of four, my siblings and I were constantly beat, belittled, and manipulated at the hands of my father. It is much easier to write the words than it was to live through it. The deep scars of fear and sometimes rage was also riddled with low self-esteem as only years promoted healing through both distance and time. Safety was neither within the walls or beyond them as one could only see as far as the helplessness that was felt. When you’re first impressions of life are dark, the understanding is that it is dark everywhere. The great big world, full of wonders and glory beyond description, is often void of reality for someone who is drowning in helplessness. As I grew older, I questioned God.
Why? Why me? What if? My life? What now?
It would be years before those questions could be answered. However, my lips never stopped saying his name. My mother was and is a strong believer of his word and gospel. Her teachings stayed with me. In the worst of times, she sang the best of praises. In the best of moments, it was His glory. There is a scripture for every valley. There is a healing for every scar. There is a reason that surpasses all understanding. Yet, often we forsake what we know, to do what is comfortable. Lesson #1. Rarely does comfortable bring about miracles, blessings and understanding. If your too comfortable, you should question if you are preventing the miracle that is waiting to happen in your life.
2Corinthians 12:9
But he said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness".